I have had a lot of people messaging me these last few weeks asking for advice. I thought it would be best to sum up what little advice I have in this blog—written in letter format to…you—the aspiring cuckold. Whether your an aspiring hotwife or cuckold, maybe you will find my experiences helpful. I wanted to explain the differences between what I expected this to be versus what reality actually is. It is important to note that these are my experiences and your mileage may vary.
As an aspiring cuckold, I watched a lot of pornography to satiate my deepest desires. So much so, that traditional pornography had lost all of its pleasures—I’m sure you understand. At that time, Mae wasn’t really interested in porn. However, cuckold pornography did the trick for me. Although, when I watched porn, I was mainly looking for women who looked like Mae.
Over the eight plus years that I have been fantasizing about this subject, I did find several women who did indeed look like Mae with dark curly hair, large breasts, and a perfect butt. These women would help satiate my desires in lieu of acting upon my fantasies with Mae. For all the enjoyment that these short videos brought me, they could not have prepared me for the actual Lifestyle with a capital “L.”
Cuckolding pornography usually shows a man fucking a woman who is presumed to be the wife of another man. This other man may be present in the room, either sitting on the couch watching or maybe even recording the event. The pornography is relatively short, only 10-60 minutes in length; however, I wouldn’t be surprised if most internet cuckolding pornography is less than 20 minutes. Not much can happen in a 20 minute video. The wife may give and/or receive oral and then fuck in multiple positions with a not-so-glamorous ending. After she is finished with the supposed best sex of her life, she may involve or humiliate the husband further. Fade to black.
The Lifestyle is nothing like cuckold pornography. When I was in the deepest throws of my fantasy, I assumed the Lifestyle just meant that Mae would go fuck other men while I watch. We would show up at a hotel room, she would fuck, and then we would leave; bada bing bada boom—effortless and emotionless.
Getting Mae interested in the Lifestyle was a grueling six year process. To provide clarity, that is approximately 2,190 days from the moment I told her until she was finally ready to give it an actual shot. For those pushing your wives at this very moment to accept your deepest, darkest desires, it is no longer about you.
This is about them.
They will never join you on your journey until they themselves are ready. If you decide to keep pushing before they are ready, they may stall or be too frightened to push forward. You may think that this Lifestyle revolves around you, but it doesn’t. You may be the initiator, but once that part is done, this will be about empowering your wife to be the woman she was always meant to be.
When I informed Mae of my rather dark fantasies, she was four months pregnant with our second child. She was far more concerned with making sure she provided all the attention that our first child required, while also caring for our second child who was rapidly growing inside of her womb. My timing certainly wasn’t perfect. However, even though she was focused on being the best mom she could be, she still attempted to entertain my fantasies. That is what true love is about.
Mae shared her most intimate images of herself online for the world to see. Sharing images of herself was the only thing we could do to simulate the experience. With young children, acting on the fantasies in real life was just that, a fantasy that could never actually be acted upon, so sharing her online was all we could do. At the time, I thought she enjoyed it, but, after several years, she admitted that she only did it to make me happy. Mae was always a people pleaser; always putting others before herself.
I will give one caveat to the picture sharing thing. My erotic stimulation was directly proportionate to the level of Mae’s involvement. If I shared an image with someone the level of excitement was minimal compared to her sending it. Mae sending naked images of herself to someone else or uploading an image to a blog shows a snippet of the sexual being lurking just beneath her physique. Every time Mae uploaded a sexy picture of herself, I caught a glimpse of that sexual being. You will come to find that the sexual being is what you are attracted to, not the act, and not even the pictures. For me, the pictures simply caught a glimpse of the sexual being I was most attracted to; the version of herself that was lying dormant.
The inner sexual being, the Phoenix, the Lioness, the Hunter, the Devourer, the Demon, whatever you want to call it, it was always lying in wait, searching for the moment to reveal itself. When it did finally reveal itself, all of my cuckolding expectations evaporated. This was no longer just the fantasy that had played out so many times on my iPhone screen during my morning routine.
This was reality and I was in for a wake up call.
When we officially started looking for prospective bulls, Mae was still shy and nervous. Her flirting was awkward and forced and still required input from me because she was still worried what I would think or how I would feel. I was still very much in control of her sexual being. This would change over the course of the following week. As her sexual confidence increased, and her inner sexual being began to emerge, she began to assert more control. Coincidentally, I began losing control.
This was my first lesson in the difference between cuckold pornography and the Lifestyle. The Lifestyle does not last 20 minutes and then return to normal life. Becoming a Hotwife or Cuckoldress doesn’t stay at the bedroom door when they resume normal life. Her flirting is certainly no longer forced and definitely would be considered X-rated. She is continuously sending pictures of herself to others without my provocation. In fact, I am not really involved in that anymore.
When the sexual being awakens, it takes control. We husbands/cuckolds are at the mercy of our Hotwives/Cuckoldresses. Control is something that Mae has never been vocally interested in sexually, but after getting her first taste, she got hooked.
Women hold the power; not the cuckold or bull. They choose who they engage with; they choose who they ultimately play with, and they choose how far they will go.
Sexual freedom is something that men are given naturally. Women, however, are not given these freedoms. They are raised to believe they need to find a man to care for them physically and emotionally. Men are raised to believe women need to be owned and protected. To appreciate this Lifestyle fully, you will need to understand that these ideas are wrong and work towards accepting the fact that your wife is not something that needs protection—she can do that herself. She is a strong, capable woman who has the freedom to choose her own path in life. Releasing Mae of any spousal sexual constraints that are inherently part of our marriage, excites her on so many levels.
Also know this, you are her husband first and nothing could interfere with that. If your relationship is strong, and you both communicate effectively and oh so frequently, your relationship will continue to be strong.
Another important thing to consider is labeling. When you begin to research all of the different perspectives in the Lifestyle, the content can be overwhelming. Some couples no longer have PIV (penis in vagina) sex, while others do have PIV sex. Some couples are into humiliation while others are completely against it. The list of sub-kinks are endless. This has been the most frightening for me to confront; not because I think those ideas should be shamed or that they are wrong—some things are just not for me at this point in my journey.
I absolutely want PIV sex and I do not want to be humiliated. I thrive on giving my wife the best orgasm she could ever have. I have no shame in my abilities nor my size. I do, however, want to watch her flourish in her sexual being. I want to watch immense pleasure wash over her face. I want to talk with her every moment throughout our day about what she is most excited about. I simply want to give all the sexual control over to her and sit back and watch her unfold.
The best part of the Lifestyle I have discovered is Mae’s insatiability. When I come home from work, I can usually find Mae in our kitchen cooking dinner for the family. I always come up behind her and try and steal 10 seconds away from her busy cooking for a kiss. She has never enjoyed affection when she was busy doing anything. This isn’t the case anymore. These days I will come up behind her to give her a kiss and instead find her arching her back downward with her ass gyrating on my cock. She will casually shake her ass back and forth for a few moments before resuming her cooking. Another benefit is that she no longer wears clothing while brushing her teeth—the ultimate tease. Furthermore, not a day goes by where she doesn’t flash me in some fashion or another. Sex before bed? We haven’t missed a day in two months. She has been the very definition of insatiable.
Here are some very important questions that you must consider when entering the Lifestyle. Do you still want to be a cuckold? Are you ready to relinquish whatever sexual control you’ve had (or thought you’ve had) to your wife? Are you prepared for the sexual empowerment and potential your wife is about to realize? Are you poised for the insatiable lust she will ultimately embrace?
Do I still want to be a cuckold?
Yes, however, I am still terrified of what my future holds every single day. I am happy with how our relationship is going but watching her sexual being grab the stag by the horns can be quite terrifying as well as exhilarating.
Am I ready to relinquish all my control over to her?
No. Not at all. I give her a little but I struggle to give it all. I’m constantly learning and striving to give up that control but it has been difficult. In fact, when I am locked up, and told I will be getting nothing, it makes me want to spank her ass–hard. The power struggle is real. I know she will win eventually, but until then, I am going to go ahead and leave my hand print on her ass.
Am I prepared for the sexual empowerment and potential Mae has been realizing?
Hell no! Nothing could have prepared me for this. The things she says now… If you’re reading this, someone help me!
Are you poised for the insatiable lust she will ultimately embrace?
I am excited but also a bit nervous. Where will this end? She wants to go to Splash Mocha someday soon. She has a number. That’s terrifying. A number… Let that sink in…
If you still decide to go down this amazing journey, know this: You will Fight! You will have disagreements. Emotions will rule the day and how you handle those emotions will determine your success. Keep talking. Keep breaking down barriers. When you have nothing left to fight about, your connection with your partner will ultimately be in a much better place. It’s also important to remember to have fun and go with the flow. Do not attempt to force different elements of the Lifestyle to fit. Talk with your partner consistently and evaluate each of your desires on a routine basis.
If something doesn’t feel right, speak up!